Day Six: Q & A
So the emails are starting to taper off a little bit, but I’m still getting about 100+ a day, far too many to respond to individually, which I apologize for. I’m doing my best to send response quickly but they usually build up too quickly to answer back right away.
Q: Why doesn’t your blog have comments?
A: I’ve been asked this a lot. Part of it is because Tumblr is more about micro-blogging than keeping an online journal. I’m sure I’ve already ticked off the purists by posting so much on it.
The more important reason is, excuse the vulgarity, but there’s a lot of retards out on the internet. I don’t want to spend all my time regulating what they say and refereeing trolls bashing dirty foreigners or evil Koreans. Plus this blog will probably die down a day or two after we’re out of here and the next exciting thing happens, like a Pak Tae Hwan / Lee Hyori sex tape or something and my massive ego couldn’t take the dive in comments so I’d probably end out joining the ex-presidents cliff diving club in sorrow.
Q: What kind of movies are you watching in there?
A: I watched some of The Onion Movie last night thanks to Chantal Doucet and Jared Brica who sent a ton of DVD’s over. Also, a lot of TV, most of which really serves as mind numbing time passing entertainment that my brain doesn’t even register in short term memory. I think I watched some Project Runway: Korea today, but I can’t recall.
Lots of Xbox as well. My girlfriend’s on the Arcadia level, which she’s having to do over because she forgot to save the game.
Q: Were there any Koreans at this seminar and why aren’t they quarantined as well?
A: There are some Koreans here in quarantine at the Seocho-dong facility as well. The rest, I believe, are under house quarantine.
This is a common question actually and one that I’ve gotten at least a half dozen times. There really doesn’t seem to be any racism or over-all xenophobic intent on the part of the Ministry of Health. Mainly it was a numbers game: start with the foreigners who all stayed at the same hotel and work outward from there. Everyone we’ve come into contact with on our one day of freedom romping around the peninsula has more or less been restricted to a home quarantine now, Korean and cracker alike.
Q: How do you smuggle beer or soju in there? Can I bring you some?
A: Rectally.
Actually we have trained carrier pigeons. They’re twice the size of the average pigeons but they can carry up to two liters at a time. We tip them in kimchi.
Honestly, I’ll refrain from answering because we’re not allowed to have alcohol in here for a few reasons.
First, it supposedly raises your body temperature and when you’re under quarantine for the flu a high temperature reading isn’t a good thing to have.
Secondly, it’s a bloody quarantine facility!
Third, and probably most importantly, drunks can be loud and people seem to like quiet around here.
Personally, I don’t really care for rules, and this quarantine has been pretty half assed to begin with. Throwing sick people and healthy people together has probably only helped spread it instead of isolated it. Not changing bed sheets and then playing Switch-the-Room was another bad idea. Didn’t the settlers do that with the native Americans? Here, have this infected blanket!
Anyways, I don’t have any beef with people getting sauced, de-stressing, and having some fun as long as they’re quiet. Heck, have a Roman orgy in the shower room just clean up after it’s over. I know some people are annoyed at the other people who get a little loud at night and that’s understandable. However, Korea’s not a quiet place at night to begin with, so I consider it a good introduction anyways.
They put up some excellent Konglish signs saying bags are subject to search and seizure, so to answer, please don’t bring us some soju or wine. And if you do, bake it in a cake prison style. Better yet, buy us some when we get out. We’ll be the tanned ones with the Whopper & Pizza bellies.
Q: It sounds like they weren’t prepared for the quarantine and are learning as they go.
A: More of a statement than a question, but that’s pretty spot on. They even said that when we were first brought in. I think there’s been an internal changing of the guards off and on quite a bit with everything stabilizing the last few days. Maybe we’ll be a case study one day. ”The Effects of Isolation and Daytime TV on Waegooks.”
Plus, we’re all getting a bit of Stockholm syndrome in our generosity towards the Ministry of Health and forgiving their initial fumblings. The food has been great lately and for the most part people are going: “They’re really nice to us when they’re not skittering away because we forgot to put our mask on! Really! I like it here!”
